suppressed

Train Station

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Many people entered her life, some stay others leave. Each one enters her life leaves a place, a memory or a scar. Her life turned to be like a train station, where passengers can get in and out at any time. Just when they reach their requested destination, the train stops and they get out. Through their trip, some don’t stay long as they need to go somewhere else; because simply they haven’t reach their right destination. They have chosen her life; as if they have chosen a place where they can play, destroy, ruin or exploit it as a territory. But it is not a place or destination it’s a life of a human being, who has feelings, fears, questions; a doubtful person who knows nothing about their intentions.

How can people choose a place randomly, out of no where; just crossed their minds to give it a try and stop the train, and let the fun begins. Seriously?  Is it that easy, to enter a life and leave it whenever you want, just because you are done? A human being’s life is not a destination, it is not a place or a rail way where you can regularly stop.

She won’t let anyone else use her or exploit her just to reach their destination, she will no longer hospital who will ever choose her stop, she will start filtering people. Choosing her destination  is not a choice anymore, it’s a request whether you will wait for acceptance or simply you will get an ignorance to your request.

Sometimes, women reach their peak of being “fed up”, and when that time comes; no one can stop them. That’s actually what happened to her, its her time to be fed up, of all the shit that she has gone through, various number of  shitty people who have entered her life lately. She has turned into an unstoppable and uncontrollable train where nothing can stop it, because the brakes are already broken. This train can be named  as an angry train, it will crash anything in front of it because, it has lost control and it has reached its peak.She might pretend that she has it all together, and everything is under control; but it is not. She has already lost control, and the train just started its tour.

Congratulations!

Her life has already turned into a train wreck.

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The girl with no identity

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Electricity is off silence all over the place. Outside the window she can hear the voice of the passing cars in the streets and the neighbor’s dog barks at the midnight of a Tuesday night where no one else is there except her. She is drowning in her unspoken thoughts picking up a bunch of papers from the table besides her searching for a pen to start writing what she can’t tell. Minutes and hours pass and the ink of her pen drops on the papers and drew a pond.

In that moment, she has already escaped reality and drown deeper in her thoughts. That night she didn’t write anything she didn’t know from where to start. Revealing the suppressed conflicts or the sorrows inside her was a scary idea she can’t express her feelings when she tries to it ends the other way around by being misunderstood or being an enigma. She can’t understand herself sometimes whether she meant to do that or she is trying to hide her feelings. That inner conflict might stem from lack of self confidence. For her she would never be a part of anything she doesn’t belong to anywhere all her life she has been trying to belong to somewhere and it ends up by failing. She knew it from the first day she came to this world she doesn’t belong to anyone or anywhere and she didn’t really care. She is a stranger in this world for some she is a girl with no identity. Somehow that made her feel safer being a mystery to others where no one can enter her world. The only way she can reveal her thoughts is to write and keep writing about the things that frightens her from the world she is living in the one that she doesn’t belong to. She will always remain the girl with no identity who lives in a world that she doesn’t belong to.

And that thought is her safe haven in this world!

Edited on Friday 20th of march
20:30 pm