relationships

The Intruder Of her Life

 

Intruder with Knife

 

Back then to a famous series, she used to watch there was a sentence said by an actress; who have fallen in-love with an intruder; she said back then; “when I first, started working here as a doctor, first thing they have taught us is: “Don’t fall in-love with an intruder”.  Ps: that actress’s role was a prison physician.  She never felt, she would relate somehow what had happened with her, to a small sample she saw earlier in one of her favorite series-es.

Throughout the days, she realized that she might have something in common with that actress in the show, she has fallen in-love with an intruder; but this intruder wasn’t fictional as the one in the series, it was a REAL one. Let’s name it the intruder of her life, the one she never thought he would come up like this, at first she didn’t realize how malicious and deceitful he is. But actually each day, he proves that he is not only malicious or deceitful he is also a thief,  a one who stole almost everything. He stole her time, her life, her friends and everything; yet she is standing on her own feet, visualizing all he had done to her but with a stronger soul not a weak one. She thought at the beginning she might get weak, but people around her told her you will move on faster than you can ever imagine, at first she didn’t believe it but actually she did throughout the time.

Actually that intruder was the reason of her  being strong, he helped her to be stronger not weak, he thought she will be weak but actually by all the things he have done and even still doing, he is helped her to be more stronger without knowing.  They say; “as you sow, so shall you reap”, if you did good things you will get good things, if you did bad things you will get bad things. So that intruder will get what he did in the past whether good or bad. All that matters, that she will be watching him, she will be watching the intruder of her life, taking what he deserves. She will be watching now another one of those favorite series-es, whom she enjoys watching; but you know what? That series will be different. It will be the series of the intruder of her life. In another words, what goes around comes around, everything a person should know that; whatever you do it will always come back, it doesn’t matter when because it will come anyways. So be careful from everything, be careful before doing anything without thinking what may occur. Don’t’ give promises you won’t make, don’t say words you don’t mean, don’t make fun of someone, don’t hurt someone on purpose, don’t undergo something you can’t handle it from the beginning, please people for God’s mercy don’t enter someone’s life without planning what’s next. Don’t hurt each other, be kind be merciful. You never know what might happen in the future, the good will be bad, the bad will be good and the kind will be evil and the evil will be kind.

Life is like allocation, you will get the quota whether bad or good you will get it anyway. Don’t be the intruder of someone’s life. And don’t fall in-love with an intruder.

Train Station

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Many people entered her life, some stay others leave. Each one enters her life leaves a place, a memory or a scar. Her life turned to be like a train station, where passengers can get in and out at any time. Just when they reach their requested destination, the train stops and they get out. Through their trip, some don’t stay long as they need to go somewhere else; because simply they haven’t reach their right destination. They have chosen her life; as if they have chosen a place where they can play, destroy, ruin or exploit it as a territory. But it is not a place or destination it’s a life of a human being, who has feelings, fears, questions; a doubtful person who knows nothing about their intentions.

How can people choose a place randomly, out of no where; just crossed their minds to give it a try and stop the train, and let the fun begins. Seriously?  Is it that easy, to enter a life and leave it whenever you want, just because you are done? A human being’s life is not a destination, it is not a place or a rail way where you can regularly stop.

She won’t let anyone else use her or exploit her just to reach their destination, she will no longer hospital who will ever choose her stop, she will start filtering people. Choosing her destination  is not a choice anymore, it’s a request whether you will wait for acceptance or simply you will get an ignorance to your request.

Sometimes, women reach their peak of being “fed up”, and when that time comes; no one can stop them. That’s actually what happened to her, its her time to be fed up, of all the shit that she has gone through, various number of  shitty people who have entered her life lately. She has turned into an unstoppable and uncontrollable train where nothing can stop it, because the brakes are already broken. This train can be named  as an angry train, it will crash anything in front of it because, it has lost control and it has reached its peak.She might pretend that she has it all together, and everything is under control; but it is not. She has already lost control, and the train just started its tour.

Congratulations!

Her life has already turned into a train wreck.

The Green Book Part two

This-Little-Green-Book

Part Two

April 19th. 2015

10:55 PM

My name is Melike. I’m 23 years old. Green is my favorite color and purple comes second. I studied English literature because of my love for the English language and novels. I guess that’s enough for now.

I don’t know why I’m writing this but, it might be the only way I can visualize my life through some lines. Maybe, someday my story will make a difference in someone’s life and maybe not. I love writing at midnight. something calls me to write the echoed voices inside my head, words, feelings, anger, happiness, mixed feelings; the more they increase the more they keep me awake.

I don’t write daily but, I write when I feel like I want to capture a word or a sentence i don’t want to miss or forget it. I want to type it and look at it and keep re-reading it and falling for the words, trying to write with all my senses using all the skills i have. I believe that words are like diamonds, the more you take care of them and shape them the way you want, the more they will be beautiful and valuable. But each diamond has a sharp angle that you need to be careful and precise when you touch. You might get yourself hurt if you aren’t cautious.

Words are the same they can either touch your heart or break your heart. If words came put, there is no way to take them back. What comes out never comes back.

Well at least I believe in that………

Its spring time is my favorite season. After winter, the weather is still unstable; hence you can call it a beautiful weather. As I mentioned previously, I’m in my twenties a young lady, my parents still sees me as a baby girl with a diaper. Those twenty three years aren’t counted as twenty three. They tally up differently for me. I have lived a life that is similar to that of fifty years old lady, a life full of many memories good and painful ones, many experiences, and salvation.

A twenty three year old lady from the outside, a fifty year old lady from the inside, they say your age doesn’t matter. You can be seventy and feel like you are still in your thirties and that’s what keeps you alive; to feel young forever. What if you feel old? Very old.

At the age of sixteen I fell in love for the first time and it wasn’t a quite good relationship. We were so young but, it was good to feel loved by someone. That feeling you get for the first time as a teenager, you don’t know what it is. There is no accurate decription of what you feel but you feel happy and you are constantly smiling. I love to spend time with that person; experiencing new feelings that make you feel flying for the first time. However, that relationship didn’t count, as I said we were so young we just wanted to experience new things.

When someone enters your life, not willing to stay for long and leaves, his absence doesn’t hurt you. What hurts you most is the time he stole from you. The time he stole from your life.

She stopped reading her heart was pumping so fast, her breathe is getting weak. She bookmarked the page and left the book a side shivered about how Melike and she are just the same. She can feel every word written down there in that mysterious book as if it’s her own storytelling not Melike’s. She went to sleep; that night thoughts never left her she felt for the first time that she is naked. As if she had opened up to someone, words found its way out like a running water no power can stop it from coming out. She was afraid to continue reading Melike’s green book or diary or whatever it’s called. She was afraid from exploring her own self.

To be continued………….

Marionettes

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When you have feelings for someone and he share the same for you it doesn’t mean that you should be in a relationship together. Hence you have strong feelings same as he does but not all relationships based on the stereotyping so called thing “in a relationship”. For some just having feelings without being committed to someone makes them feel free they think that they don’t have to be committed to something.

Things can be much easier when you don’t make promises to someone. Well, it’s ironically true there is nothing to claim that because you have feelings for this someone he has to be in a relationship with you. But we as a different society with different traditions and morals we don’t believe in this; we push each other to the stereotyping so called thing being “in a relationship”.  Having feelings for someone follows the step after which is a must to be in a relationship get engaged then marriage after.

This has to stop we have to believe in that some relationships are not meant to happen or to be completed on the follow list of relationship- engagement- marriage; some relationships has to end at some point to stay as it should be from the beginning. You have feelings I have feelings this is good but nothing else will happen. What should happen is to prevent ourselves from having even those feelings for some or actually precisely some kind of people they don’t deserve the time you waste from your life on them hoping for more or hoping to reach your peak point in the kind of relationship you want. We have to face the ugly truth of which there is that kind of people who doesn’t know what they really want yet they want everything together and that just can’t happen and will never ever happen.

You are not a marionette puppet in someone’s hands you are not designed to be manipulated by whoever is in charge. You are the owner of your life you shape your life as you want you are the manipulative and they are the marionettes.