The Day I refused To Say Goodbye to My Mother

The year of coming apart By Michael Petrilli


There’s something about losing a mother that is permanent and inexpressible. It’s a wound that will never quite heal. The death of my mother makes me realize that every single moment we spent together; I wasted an opportunity to tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me. Death has separated us very quickly; I didn’t have enough time to tell her how much I love her and how it’s unbearable to live without her. I thought that there are no Goodbyes between us, because it’s too painful and unfair. Although you are too far from here but never far from my heart, have I known one day we will meet and be together again; but until that day comes I want you to know that I will miss you more than any words can be said and I will never stop thinking of you until my time comes. I will always whisper words to God where you might hear me through, but I’m sorry I will never say good bye. I can’t see you anymore, but you are always at my side. I have faith my mother, but it’s my heart that doesn’t because there is no cure for that. God saw you getting so tired and no cure can cure you, he has chosen you for a better mission he has taken you to a better home to rest. With a tearful eyes and broken heart I watched you fading away, and did nothing except crying. It’s a very painful experience and a harsh one yet, I know you are in a better place but it’s me who can’t survive the fact of the non existence of you. I’m not sure exactly how heaven will look like, but I’m sure it’s your best cure my pure mother. The day I refused to say Goodbye to my mother, Outside the grief people may not understand that I didn’t just lose a person at one point in time, I have lost a mother whom I have lost her presence in every aspect of my life my future has changed even my “now”. Goodbyes will never be my type my mother, till we meet again my beloved.


What’s life?


What’s life?

How life is so weird? How it can turn upside down in a minute?  Someone can die while the other is born. How can someone’s death can be a turning point in the life of the other. His life can change to the better or someone comes and fills the gap or the disappearance of the dead ones.

Life is ambiguous no one can understands it no matter how hard a one can try.

What’s life? I don’t know what life is there is no quite definition of life, people interpret the meaning of life according to how they live whether a happy life or a sad one. But to come to a conclusion there is no exact definition of life it depends on the lives of people!

Wriiten on 16th of oct, 2014

19:08 pm

A girl in her twenties

At the age of twenties each girl has a lot to think about; what’s her goal, purpose in life, dream job with huge salary, fashion and to find a true love get married to him, have children and start aging without noticing till she reaches her forties or something.  Then she starts thinking how she used to look  when she was a twenties girl!

BUZZ!!!!! Stop this

Let’s take it one by one.

A girl in her twenties doesn’t know what she really wants, she just look around her and start imitating the routine or what people call a “life cycle”. Like when all her friends start to get engaged, married then have children while she didn’t. She starts to think ” what’s wrong with me? ”

Am I going to find someone to love or I’ll be alone just watching others and  to keep on congratulating them while questioning myself inside when I’ll live a moment like that? When are people going to congratulate me? When? When? When? When?

As if her mind will blow out because of these questions.

Then another phase begins “this is the one, I know this is him”

The precise phase; when a girl meets a client at work attracted her she starts to question herself. Is he married? Oh no he is not wearing a ring so this is great! He is single, he looks nice and then she transforms from a working girl to a headhunter!

Girls think that if they didn’t get married this will be a shameful thing because they live in a patriarchal society where the male gaze has the authority to judge a woman’s life.

An advice for each girl in her twenties; live your life, travel, have fun, make friends all over the world, spend your money, be a fashionista be beautiful for yourself!

Don’t make this patriarchal society ruin your life through senilism and live your life as a twenty – something till the end.

 Written on the 18th of  July, 2014

16:56 pm