feelings

The Intruder Of her Life

 

Intruder with Knife

 

Back then to a famous series, she used to watch there was a sentence said by an actress; who have fallen in-love with an intruder; she said back then; “when I first, started working here as a doctor, first thing they have taught us is: “Don’t fall in-love with an intruder”.  Ps: that actress’s role was a prison physician.  She never felt, she would relate somehow what had happened with her, to a small sample she saw earlier in one of her favorite series-es.

Throughout the days, she realized that she might have something in common with that actress in the show, she has fallen in-love with an intruder; but this intruder wasn’t fictional as the one in the series, it was a REAL one. Let’s name it the intruder of her life, the one she never thought he would come up like this, at first she didn’t realize how malicious and deceitful he is. But actually each day, he proves that he is not only malicious or deceitful he is also a thief,  a one who stole almost everything. He stole her time, her life, her friends and everything; yet she is standing on her own feet, visualizing all he had done to her but with a stronger soul not a weak one. She thought at the beginning she might get weak, but people around her told her you will move on faster than you can ever imagine, at first she didn’t believe it but actually she did throughout the time.

Actually that intruder was the reason of her  being strong, he helped her to be stronger not weak, he thought she will be weak but actually by all the things he have done and even still doing, he is helped her to be more stronger without knowing.  They say; “as you sow, so shall you reap”, if you did good things you will get good things, if you did bad things you will get bad things. So that intruder will get what he did in the past whether good or bad. All that matters, that she will be watching him, she will be watching the intruder of her life, taking what he deserves. She will be watching now another one of those favorite series-es, whom she enjoys watching; but you know what? That series will be different. It will be the series of the intruder of her life. In another words, what goes around comes around, everything a person should know that; whatever you do it will always come back, it doesn’t matter when because it will come anyways. So be careful from everything, be careful before doing anything without thinking what may occur. Don’t’ give promises you won’t make, don’t say words you don’t mean, don’t make fun of someone, don’t hurt someone on purpose, don’t undergo something you can’t handle it from the beginning, please people for God’s mercy don’t enter someone’s life without planning what’s next. Don’t hurt each other, be kind be merciful. You never know what might happen in the future, the good will be bad, the bad will be good and the kind will be evil and the evil will be kind.

Life is like allocation, you will get the quota whether bad or good you will get it anyway. Don’t be the intruder of someone’s life. And don’t fall in-love with an intruder.

Train Station

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Many people entered her life, some stay others leave. Each one enters her life leaves a place, a memory or a scar. Her life turned to be like a train station, where passengers can get in and out at any time. Just when they reach their requested destination, the train stops and they get out. Through their trip, some don’t stay long as they need to go somewhere else; because simply they haven’t reach their right destination. They have chosen her life; as if they have chosen a place where they can play, destroy, ruin or exploit it as a territory. But it is not a place or destination it’s a life of a human being, who has feelings, fears, questions; a doubtful person who knows nothing about their intentions.

How can people choose a place randomly, out of no where; just crossed their minds to give it a try and stop the train, and let the fun begins. Seriously?  Is it that easy, to enter a life and leave it whenever you want, just because you are done? A human being’s life is not a destination, it is not a place or a rail way where you can regularly stop.

She won’t let anyone else use her or exploit her just to reach their destination, she will no longer hospital who will ever choose her stop, she will start filtering people. Choosing her destination  is not a choice anymore, it’s a request whether you will wait for acceptance or simply you will get an ignorance to your request.

Sometimes, women reach their peak of being “fed up”, and when that time comes; no one can stop them. That’s actually what happened to her, its her time to be fed up, of all the shit that she has gone through, various number of  shitty people who have entered her life lately. She has turned into an unstoppable and uncontrollable train where nothing can stop it, because the brakes are already broken. This train can be named  as an angry train, it will crash anything in front of it because, it has lost control and it has reached its peak.She might pretend that she has it all together, and everything is under control; but it is not. She has already lost control, and the train just started its tour.

Congratulations!

Her life has already turned into a train wreck.

Pain demands to be felt

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They say pain demands to be felt and it’s truly true, you will never experience pain unless you feel it crushing your feelings, senses, and brain and mind each part of your body experience pain in a different way.  Pain is known as something bad something that hurts you badly, you can feel pain when you fall from your bike and get yourself hurt you can be in pain when you touch something hot accidently you can feel pain from a paper cut you can feel pain while sewing a piece of cloth even in sex you are in pain. But here is the odd thing about pain that each situation has a different kind of pain in sex you are in pain yet you are enjoying it sometimes there is pleasure in what you are experiencing. This doesn’t mean that pain is beautiful but it is not bad as well. Pain demands to be felt yes pain demands to be felt, we have to see things from a different perspective to look at things from far away because you can’t see things correctly or different when you are close to it for example like hidden objects game when you take a very close look you can’t see the small things but when you go away from a little you will figure out all the detailed and small things that’s how we should deal with everything we experience even pain.

We have to learn how to live with pain how to find pleasure in it more than suffer, tattoos are one of the painful pleasures you bleed from the needle hence it gives you a beautiful  lasting tattoo on your body.  Little pain is good for oneself pain can be endured by how you choose to absorb it and deal with it as a good thing not a bad thing.

Pain can turn you to a different person the more you get pain the more you grow up the more you can handle things differently. Yes it makes you stronger – braver and wiser but first it makes you one of a kind.  Being strong with ignoring pain and deciding never to feel it doesn’t make you a strong person you need to feel, accept and absorb it.

Somehow I see pain and love share some things in between; both demands to be felt both can cause you hurt and both can change you into strong, brave and wise person both are good. I guess pain and love is one thing it’s just written differently.

From a grammar teacher’s point of view pain is considered to be a bad connotation and love is considered to be a good connotation. But from a writer’s point of view they are both good and bad.

Marionettes

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When you have feelings for someone and he share the same for you it doesn’t mean that you should be in a relationship together. Hence you have strong feelings same as he does but not all relationships based on the stereotyping so called thing “in a relationship”. For some just having feelings without being committed to someone makes them feel free they think that they don’t have to be committed to something.

Things can be much easier when you don’t make promises to someone. Well, it’s ironically true there is nothing to claim that because you have feelings for this someone he has to be in a relationship with you. But we as a different society with different traditions and morals we don’t believe in this; we push each other to the stereotyping so called thing being “in a relationship”.  Having feelings for someone follows the step after which is a must to be in a relationship get engaged then marriage after.

This has to stop we have to believe in that some relationships are not meant to happen or to be completed on the follow list of relationship- engagement- marriage; some relationships has to end at some point to stay as it should be from the beginning. You have feelings I have feelings this is good but nothing else will happen. What should happen is to prevent ourselves from having even those feelings for some or actually precisely some kind of people they don’t deserve the time you waste from your life on them hoping for more or hoping to reach your peak point in the kind of relationship you want. We have to face the ugly truth of which there is that kind of people who doesn’t know what they really want yet they want everything together and that just can’t happen and will never ever happen.

You are not a marionette puppet in someone’s hands you are not designed to be manipulated by whoever is in charge. You are the owner of your life you shape your life as you want you are the manipulative and they are the marionettes.

What’s life?

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What’s life?

How life is so weird? How it can turn upside down in a minute?  Someone can die while the other is born. How can someone’s death can be a turning point in the life of the other. His life can change to the better or someone comes and fills the gap or the disappearance of the dead ones.

Life is ambiguous no one can understands it no matter how hard a one can try.

What’s life? I don’t know what life is there is no quite definition of life, people interpret the meaning of life according to how they live whether a happy life or a sad one. But to come to a conclusion there is no exact definition of life it depends on the lives of people!

Wriiten on 16th of oct, 2014

19:08 pm

I Miss You

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You have failed me. Congratulations I miss you yes I do. I miss you; all my days are the same since the distance you created between us. I don’t know if you were planning to do this from the beginning or not. But congratulations you’ve done it well couldn’t be any better. I still miss you each time I go back and read the conversations between us it crosses on my mind the idea of; is it a history now? Are they just saved memories on the mobile? Will be moved to the archive soon Why can’t I let the memory of you go away? Why I’m still having this thought in my mind that you will come back and tell me how sorry you are. I miss you can’t stop saying it I really miss the existence of you each day. Will you ever come back again? I know you might not come back again but let me tell you something I will always miss you I will always remember you. I don’t know if it’s love or not. But your existence is something I can’t live without I might hide it but you can see it through my eyes. Love is just a word. What I feel towards you is not love. I don’t know I just miss you. I’m sorry but I miss you. I miss the way you used to tease me I miss your calls I miss your late messages at the end of the day. I miss your short messages when you are busy in the middle of the day. Can’t count the “I miss you “. I’m sorry but I miss you

Written on 23rd of March 2015
12:27 Am