Electricity is off silence all over the place. Outside the window she can hear the voice of the passing cars in the streets and the neighbor’s dog barks at the midnight of a Tuesday night where no one else is there except her. She is drowning in her unspoken thoughts picking up a bunch of papers from the table besides her searching for a pen to start writing what she can’t tell. Minutes and hours pass and the ink of her pen drops on the papers and drew a pond.
In that moment, she has already escaped reality and drown deeper in her thoughts. That night she didn’t write anything she didn’t know from where to start. Revealing the suppressed conflicts or the sorrows inside her was a scary idea she can’t express her feelings when she tries to it ends the other way around by being misunderstood or being an enigma. She can’t understand herself sometimes whether she meant to do that or she is trying to hide her feelings. That inner conflict might stem from lack of self confidence. For her she would never be a part of anything she doesn’t belong to anywhere all her life she has been trying to belong to somewhere and it ends up by failing. She knew it from the first day she came to this world she doesn’t belong to anyone or anywhere and she didn’t really care. She is a stranger in this world for some she is a girl with no identity. Somehow that made her feel safer being a mystery to others where no one can enter her world. The only way she can reveal her thoughts is to write and keep writing about the things that frightens her from the world she is living in the one that she doesn’t belong to. She will always remain the girl with no identity who lives in a world that she doesn’t belong to.
And that thought is her safe haven in this world!
Edited on Friday 20th of march